Women in their 40′s are in two phases of their lives, one, recovering from divorce or two, seeking out Mr. Right before her eggs get too old. Now, that may sound rather harsh, but ladies sensitive to the biological clock are thinking in that way without verbalizing it to men. Guys, there are some fundamental differences in dating women in their 40′s from any other age group. At ages 40 – 45, the woman is trying to capture the best man she can attract because her beauty is fading and it will be harder to cover wrinkles past that age. There are exceptions, but the likelihood is that aging will impact her appearance and the ability to attract a man who can support her. Some try to equate a male in this peer group in the same manner but there is no comparison, because if he has money a younger woman is only a buck away.
The woman between the ages of 46 – 49 is settled about who she is and is ready for love and sex on a regular basis without all of the cat-and-mouse games involved with dating. These women are in the best position of all women in the 40′s group, because they have seen it all and dealt with the good, bad, and ugly of life. Also, these women have matured beyond the press of trying to have kids by a certain deadline assigned by life or a fashion magazine.
Where women in their 40′s make their mistake in dating is trying to date younger men on a consistent basis. So often these women try to imitate celebrities by having a young handsome stud as arm-candy. Ladies who do this rarely find him interested after she goes beyond her 40′s. In fact the sensation for a younger man is the fantasy of being with a peer’s hot mom or with a woman who is experienced and knows how to please a man. In most cases there is a mutual fetish that brings the older woman and younger man together at this juncture. Another thing that we commonly see with women in their 40′s is personal ads requiring that the guy has muscles, abs, and all of the accessories. The reality is that they try to demand that as if the younger guy has to qualify himself. This is where many mature women in this age group go wrong. If she was in her 20′s, or 30′s, then yes by all means these demands are reasonable. But this is not a good leverage-point for the 40 something woman in that she is tolerated instead of celebrated by the younger man. What’s between her legs is far more important than what is between her ears or breasts.
The false sense of being over-valued is what tips the scales for many of these women, especially those 40-somethings that hang out in clubs with the 20-somethings. These women are there to get either lusted after or laid by a younger hunk to feel wanted, loved, admired, and important. Now, women in their 40′s who are married and do this commonly have issues at home with husbands. A sense of having control of the situation is a common motivator for these women. At home they have to listen to husbands. But when in the clubs, they make the rules of engagement. Also, these women may decide to use the younger generation as a catalyst for recapturing their own youth. They may see it as a way to make up for those lost years during marriage. Women who were high school sweethearts with their husbands are regularly the participants. Most often their only sexual experience has been with the husband and therefore they will bring the practices exercised with him as a new trick for the younger man to learn.
Now, of course we are speaking in generalities, but the bottom-line is that everyone who falls into this category claims they are the exception, so if that were the case, then who would be the rule. Women trying to lure younger men in through physical attributes must understand that this is what they will be remembered for in the minds of men in general. The woman in her 40′s that has a good head on her should, acts age-appropriate, and is not looking for a younger guy will always be the one pursued by them for a serious and legitimate relationship.
This leads us to the woman in her 40′s that is only interested in men in the same age range. These women are realistic about expectations and therefore may be more complete in respect to who they want and what they want in their lives. A high-level of understanding and communications allow them to undergo hardships, and struggles a lot easier than a younger man older woman or December-May Romance. The younger man will have options that the older woman may not have in respect to finding a long-term mate. There are two main excuses that guys use to avoid a long-term situation with a woman in her 40′s, not wanting to be a step-father, and wanting to have kids of his own. These two excuses have long been a way out fo guys involved with older women.
Here are some of the issues in dealing with women in their 40′s if you are male in your 20′s through 30′s:
1. She may be religiously insecure about you taking off with a younger female.
2. She may try to isolate you from friends and family to maintain total control.
3. She could create a financial crisis of sorts to impede your ability to leave the situation.
4. She may become very possessive of you and your time.
5. She may begin to live vicariously through you and your life with friends in your peer-group.
6. She may speak of having a child to keep you interested in her.
7. She may want to purchase things for you to keep you satisfied and around, even though she may feel that she is being used.
8. You may have to compliment her for incremental achievements compared to a younger woman in your peer-group.
These are but a few things that someone in a different demographic may have to contend with, along with differences in morals, values, and perspectives. And one last note, she may become more self-critical as she ages due to the loss of youth and relevance.
Now, I know these things are hard to digest and in no way am I condemning women in their 40′s, but guys must understand that there are things that must be considered before moving in with them, or marrying them. At age 40 or older she is more sophisticated and complex than most younger groups due to experience. The likelihood is that she may be a very good life-time partner as long as you realize what you are getting into.
Married women in their 40′s are nothing short of trouble for dating or intimacy. The rationale for this statement is that these women are well-versed on the art of cheating, and rarely is one guy enough. Younger guys should avoid the married Cougar or suburban mom by all means because she will usually stick by her family before getting involved with a younger man.
This is just something to consider before leaping into a relationship with a woman in this age group.
James Adams is a seasoned professional with over twenty years of industry experience in the areas of Information Technology, Broadcast Media, International Business, Marketing, Public Relations, and Entertainment combined.
James has several years of personal experience as a personal match-maker and informal relationship adviser with a successful track-record. In his twenty plus years in the aforementioned fields, he has mastered the realm of social networking by engaging in topics, and subject matter after extensive research. He has recently launched a web blog featuring some of the latest fashions by designers such as Lane Bryant, Just My Size, The Limited, and other name brands at affordable prices.